i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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