Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
