Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
