wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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