There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
