i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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