you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
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Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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