I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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