wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Randomize
