batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
