i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
