I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
