Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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