ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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