Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
