Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
