It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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