Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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