Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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