I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
