i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
