He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
