My brain says no but my pants say off.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
