I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.