If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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