I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
where am i from again
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
