I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
