Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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