it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
