My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
