Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
time to smoke my breakfast
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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