Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
