By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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