And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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