More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Randomize
