Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
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My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
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I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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