playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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