listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
