You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
