Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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