Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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