He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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