Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize