But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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