Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
