tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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