he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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