You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Randomize
