the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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