Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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