Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
