Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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