I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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