Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
