It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
