just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
