She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
