I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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