where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am mentally ready for anal.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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