no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
