Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
