she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
