Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
