She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
