Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/b9qd
  Replies (60) Good night (867) Bad night (6132)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night http://tfl.nu/5q0r
  Replies (10) Good night (8485) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me. http://tfl.nu/zz8y
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (2646)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet? http://tfl.nu/54if
  Replies (14) Good night (4311) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (+03): View more from

  Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+03): Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here' http://tfl.nu/86hi
  Replies (14) Good night (6621) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable. http://tfl.nu/wu9y
  Replies (20) Good night (3638) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper. http://tfl.nu/6jx2
  Replies (15) Good night (2980) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (456): View more from

  Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (456): Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here http://tfl.nu/rved
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (1807)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE! http://tfl.nu/hm6x
  Replies (7) Good night (1200) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka http://tfl.nu/1kth
  Replies (4) Good night (960) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult. http://tfl.nu/xgis
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture. http://tfl.nu/qb04
  Replies (3) Good night (945) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait! http://tfl.nu/9r4q
  Replies (10) Good night (2474) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA! http://tfl.nu/6cz6
  Replies (8) Good night (1357) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart

  (416): View more from Toronto

  That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart (416): That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you. http://tfl.nu/90qz
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (393)

Randomize