Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old

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  (972): It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old http://tfl.nu/d8tm
  Replies (24) Good night (878) Bad night (5324)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?

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  (865): is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend? http://tfl.nu/lq8q
  Replies (85) Good night (17928) Bad night (1295)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.

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  (516): Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects. http://tfl.nu/hkn5
  Replies (48) Good night (727) Bad night (5289)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.

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  (281): I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/wpfj
  Replies (13) Good night (3158) Bad night (837)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home." 

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  (708): I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."  http://tfl.nu/9eb3
  Replies (15) Good night (7219) Bad night (1160)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  They are making fun of natty and blackberries.

  (646): View more from New York

  Tell them they are ugly.

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  (856): They are making fun of natty and blackberries. (646): Tell them they are ugly. http://tfl.nu/s2y1
  Replies (8) Good night (3920) Bad night (1106)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs

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  (443): also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs http://tfl.nu/bzfk
  Replies (3) Good night (2259) Bad night (872)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.

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  (604): I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away. http://tfl.nu/d7d8
  Replies (5) Good night (581) Bad night (772)
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  (858): View more from California

  Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.

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  (858): Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home. http://tfl.nu/rouf
  Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (919)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.

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  (515): I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head. http://tfl.nu/kz5k
  Replies (10) Good night (1225) Bad night (326)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.

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  (612): It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on. http://tfl.nu/eatv
  Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (315)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?

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  (201): Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion? http://tfl.nu/hwen
  Replies (8) Good night (1013) Bad night (428)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!

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  (775): Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii! http://tfl.nu/sf3q
  Replies (4) Good night (544) Bad night (488)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry

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  (406): Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry http://tfl.nu/gx9l
  Replies (1) Good night (844) Bad night (235)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night

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  (618): It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night http://tfl.nu/2or2
  Replies (0) Good night (309) Bad night (217)

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