Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

i take joy in having bigger boobs than others

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(815): View more from Illinois

Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.

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(248): View more from Michigan

i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?

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(720): View more from Colorado

No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.

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(281): View more from Texas

I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.

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(720): View more from Colorado

But truly, sorry about your empty vagina

(1-720): View more from Colorado

Thanks boo.

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