Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

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  (805): peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees. http://tfl.nu/j4sn
  Replies (11) Good night (2616) Bad night (608)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  would you consider him our boss?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  technically yes

  (360): View more from Washington

  then technically i slept with our boss

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  (360): would you consider him our boss? (503): technically yes (360): then technically i slept with our boss http://tfl.nu/5m3t
  Replies (22) Good night (3941) Bad night (560)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We need to rekindle our bromance

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  (512): We need to rekindle our bromance http://tfl.nu/aprz
  Replies (48) Good night (8730) Bad night (1451)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.

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  (301): the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner. http://tfl.nu/49va
  Replies (19) Good night (5455) Bad night (2291)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.

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  (732): I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/ou94
  Replies (33) Good night (1510) Bad night (7793)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.

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  (505): Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw. http://tfl.nu/cwfe
  Replies (4) Good night (2709) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.

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  (608): I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs. http://tfl.nu/6w3y
  Replies (31) Good night (6461) Bad night (1071)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar

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  (401): So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar http://tfl.nu/20ke
  Replies (6) Good night (2451) Bad night (897)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back

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  (215): while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back http://tfl.nu/nfcm
  Replies (7) Good night (3636) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.

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  (201): I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out. http://tfl.nu/k100
  Replies (5) Good night (1635) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.

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  (717): It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost. http://tfl.nu/w01g
  Replies (17) Good night (7460) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.

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  (801): Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches. http://tfl.nu/nznf
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (1881)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I want "hickeys on my ass" sex

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  (805): I want "hickeys on my ass" sex http://tfl.nu/gaw7
  Replies (11) Good night (1859) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.

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  (661): I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body. http://tfl.nu/1u6s
  Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.

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  (717): You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you. http://tfl.nu/xdv6
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (308)

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