You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
