when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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