the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
