Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
